Sometimes just reading about the healing techniques will bring you a inner healing experiences for you.
Discovering the Problem
Just what is it that you want to heal? Sometimes it’s very clear; you want to heal a fear of earthquakes, a lack of finances, an addiction to candy bars. Sometimes you just feel a sense of malaise, and you know that life can be better. It’s good to get very clear about what you would like to do, and then you can begin. If you’re not certain what the main issue is, then you can either find someone who can help you clarify it, or you can get a paper and pencil, and write on it:
“I would like to heal…”, and then you write whatever comes into your mind. Be as specific as you can, describing the problem and how it affects your life.
Deep Relaxation
When you are ready, you can create a state of deep relaxation or you can find a professional to assist you. Deep relaxation is one way of reaching your essence, and here are some ways of experiencing it.
Just remember that there are many ways and that the possibilities are endless:
Breathe deeply and pay attention to your breathing….
Count down from 30 to 1 (or 10 or 5 to 1, depending on how long you need)….
Imagine a beautiful place, and relax there….
Imagine a hammock, and swing on it….
Relax the various parts of your body, beginning with your feet…. Say, “Relax
now. Go deeper and deeper now.”….
Imagine walking downstairs and going more deeply as you walk….
Imagine floating in the sky or on the water….
Use a natural scenario that relaxes you deeply.
If you are doing this on your own, it may help to use a recording. You can make one for yourself or use one that has already been made for this purpose. You’ll find a full trance induction in the last part of this book, and you can feel free to use it to make a tape for yourself.
Deep relaxation is a very natural state that is comfortable and pleasant. You have experienced it many times when you’ve focused your mind. You have felt it in those moments before falling asleep, when part of you is almost awake and another part of you is floating off into dreamland. You’ve experienced it while watching a movie or TV when you’re focused on what you’re watching and become completely absorbed in it, almost forgetting that there is another reality.
It’s a perfect way to experience your essence; your everyday mind is quiet, and your deepest being can shine through when you fully and totally relax.
Healing Yourself as a Child
This is a rich and fertile ground for healing. Reading the examples of inner child healing elsewhere in this book can show you how this can be an extraordinary healing vehicle. In a state of relaxation, you go back to a picture of yourself as a child – at any age that your consciousness would like to show you. When you see the child, there are many things you can then do. You can observe the child for as long as you want or need to. You can imagine yourself as an adult holding and stroking the child and giving her love. You can play with her – whatever she likes to do – or you can walk together in favorite places. You can imagine the healing light or healing water helping the child. You can give the child a new set
of parents. And you can rescue the child from her circumstances and take her into a new environment – even home with you!
Here’s what an inner child session with a professional might be like:
“Just go back now and see yourself as a child, at any age that your subconscious mind would like to show you. Do you see her?”
“Yes, she’s sitting on a big chair with her dolls.”
“How old is she?”
“She’s six.”
“What does she look like?”
“She’s has dark curls, and she’s not very big. She looks sad.”
“What’s she sad about?”
“No one is around, and she wonders where everyone is.”
“Where is everyone?”
“Her mother is working, and her father isn’t there, and maybe her grandmother is there, but she’s very busy.”
“How does the little girl feel?”
“She wants to cry.” She begins crying now.
“Do you know that there is someone who would love to be with her and to give her love? Why don’t you bring yourself in as an adult and hold her?”
“She’s glad I’m here now. She doesn’t want to cry now.”
“Maybe you can tell her that you’ll be there for her when she needs you.”
“Yes, I will. She’s very happy that she’s with me.”
“That’s right; she’s made a special connection with you, and you’re someone who can really understand her. It changes her life to know that you’re around.”
Sometimes you can become the child and experience her feelings. Because the child is so close to essence, meeting her will help you to unite with this tender and wonderful part of your being.
Subpersonalities
These are different parts of your being that appear in your life as characteristic behaviours. Some common ones are The Critic or The Judge, The Perfectionist, The Angry One, The Sad One, and, of course, The Inner Child in all of its varieties. In deep relaxation, you can find your own idiosyncratic parts. If you assume that these subpersonalities exist, you can work beautifully with them in a state of relaxation. These are not separate personalities, as in multiple personalities, but parts of you that get triggered by various life situations. You also assume that there is a loving, centered part of your being that super cedes all the subpersonalities and can heal them and make them whole. You assume that
this exists in everyone and that it is easily experienced in a state of relaxation.
Subpersonalities are usually trying to do something that they consider positive for you – although it more often than not turns out to be quite the opposite. For example, The Hungry One may be eating and eating in a way that it thinks is protecting and comforting you – but, in actuality, it may be harming you even more. In deep relaxation, you can find out what the subpersonality is doing, and you can give it something else to do—something more useful and beneficial and in harmony with your real needs. You can also exaggerate this subpersonality,
almost to the point of caricature -and you can see some of your behaviors with greater clarity. This may even make you laugh when you see it behaving in exaggerated form. There are many more ways you can deal with subpersonalities – and there are many wonderful books you can read on the subject. The healthy loving aspects of your being can heal the other less functional ones.
Here’s what a subpersonality might look and feel like:
“Just go inside now and find the part of yourself that likes to eat too much bread.”
“It’s a blob. Its name is ‘the Blob’. I want to cry now, but I can’t.”
“You can’t?”
“The Blob is in the car with my mother, and my mother is yelling at it, but she won’t let it cry.”
“How does that Blob feel?”
“It feels shame, humiliation. It feels like it wants to cry but can’t. It feels like it needs someone to give it love. Now it’s eating bread. That makes it feel more comfortable.”
“Would you like that Blob to be able to feel more love and eat less bread?”
“Yes!”
At this point, you bring in love from your strong and integrated self, from a special loving figure, or from essence, itself. You can suggest that when this desire to eat all the bread in the world comes up that now you can be more conscious of what is going on, and you can do something else that is truly nurturing, something far more nurturing than eating bread.
The important point here is that there is a part of you that is already healed, your essence, and it can bring healing to all other parts of your being.
Seeing Parents as Children
If you are ready for this (that is, if you’ve done some preliminary healing work on your own self), you can go back to a time when your parents were children and see what forces created them to be the kind of people that they are now. You can get in tune with your intuition if you have no idea about your parents’ childhood, and you can see pictures of what your father’s or mother’s childhood was like. This helps you to understand the human weaknesses of your parents; it also helps to give you some feeling for their motivations for being the way they
are.
You can also stand back and envision your parents as separate human beings, coming to this earth to work out whatever they came to work out; they are toiling and suffering like everyone else – some of them stuck in ignorance, some in anger, some in servitude – whatever they may be working out. Understanding this may help you to make a separation from them in your consciousness. You are not just their “child”. You are fellow beings who’ve come to this earth together to learn. Seeing your parents this way is liberating.
It’s actually comforting to know that you really aren’t their “child” anymore; nor are you their “victim.” You happened to come to this earth together to work things out, and now that you see them more clearly, you can take responsibility for your own healing, and get on with it. You also realize that you don’t have to take responsibility for healing them – only if it is requested and you’re willing.
This doesn’t mean that you have to condone all of your parents’ behavior. This doesn’t mean that you have to accept abuse or mistreatment if you have experienced it in your life. What this does mean is that you are able to stand back and see your parents from another perspective.
Something changes inside of you when you see your parents as separate beings who are struggling to comprehend what life is about. When you get the message about this, some of the resentment can drop away, especially when you see how your early life was a true learning experience.
One woman had a mother who was unaffectionate and rigid. Once when she was a girl of five, she was in the hospital with a broken leg. In deep relaxation, she remembered that her mother had paid her little attention; she had been unfeeling and remote. She was asked to imagine what her mother had been like at age five.
She saw that her mother had been the youngest child in an unhappy family, brutalized by her father and siblings. As an adult, she had “gone dry,” and she had no love to give. Seeing this helped the daughter to realize that she was really worthy of love, but her mother just hadn’t been able to give it. Now she was able to stop wishing to get “blood out of the turnip” that her mother had become, and she realized that the source of love was really deep within herself.
If you are concerned about a current decision – (perhaps you are at a crossroad or in some type of quandary) – or you simply would like to get in touch with your Higher Guidance, deep relaxation is an excellent vehicle. You open yourself for guidance to come from deeply within. You may pose a question. It may be, “What is my next step?” And you wait to receive a picture or phrase that gives you a hint about what your next step may be. You can write down or record your answers.
You might ask for guidance about a current relationship, a career decision, a financial problem. The more you do this, the more adept you become. You learn to trust your guidance, and you also see how much it is supporting you.
You may be asked (or ask yourself) to let your inner guidance come forth.
Sometimes your answers will be short and general, such as, “You are going in the right direction. You will find what you are looking for. Be strong, have patience and fortitude, and the seeds you have planted will flower.” Some answers are more detailed, telling you in great detail what is happening in your relationships, your checkbook, your work life, and then telling you what you need to do to improve them.
So often we are inclined to seek outside of ourselves for answers to our problems. You will be amazed to see how these answers can come from your own wisdom.
