We all have a need to belong and feel loved and we all yearn for family, friends, relationships and intimacy.
As we find people that give us the attention that we crave we connect with them, but so many times something always seems to go wrong and then we find ourselves alone and we start all over again.
We try to do what we consider to be right within these relationships. We buy our partners things they want so we can make them happy. We make them feel secure, loved, and special. Everything seems so perfect, but still many times the circumstances ends up being very different later in these relationships.
This repeats, sometimes many times, all having similar outcomes. Each time this happens we get older and lose more time and at point we begin to consider that maybe we are just unlovable, we think that we are the reason these relationships didn’t work out and that perhaps we are meant to be alone.
Resentment begins to build within, and we spend much time reflecting on these past relationships which saddens us and then we become depressed, then hopeless and then miserable.
Then we begin to see others in relationships that are seemingly happy and we begin to resent these people for succeeding where we have failed.
We become cold and bitter towards other people because we are so disappointed in ourselves and begin to look and find the flaws in others and then we judge them for these flaws that we perceive.
How did we end up so bitter and miserable when we tried so hard to do everything right?
We live in a world that is ever changing and uncertain and we are saturated by media with images of perfect relationships with very happy people. It’s very easy to want this for ourselves so we pursue it and we find someone who is just as frightened by this uncertain world as we are.
We enter into these relationships very quickly and without knowing who we really are. We only know ourselves as the person that we have created to please the expectations of others.
So we enter into relationships without knowing ourselves so we do not have a solid foundation and we are essentially unbalanced and many times this is often true with the partners that we choose.
We then put all of energy into our partners and much less energy and attention into ourselves.
We say that we will make them happy, but how can we when we don’t know ourselves and they don’t know really know them, we know the person that they create from the expectations of others?
What if there is a way to have the relationship of your dreams?
A new way to participate within a relationship that would avoid these pitfalls?
A new relationship prototype.
How would this work?
This would work by first taking the steps to know who your authentic self really is and then stepping into this higher version of yourself.
It would require understanding your mind in a much deeper way and developing new mental habits, such as mindfulness so you are more aware of your thoughts so you better understand why you think and make the decisions that you do.
It would also require reevaluating your belief system so you understand that you are more than you think you are. To know that you are worthy, strong, confident and perfect regardless of the expectations of others.
You would find a new sense of independence and a solid foundation that would keep you safe from codependency and people who have narcissistic tendencies. You would feel content and comfortable being alone. You would no longer seek out happiness externally to you because you will have identified the happiness within yourself.
You’d be able to learn to regulate your own emotions without medication that yield negative side effect. You would be able to stay in a place above your emotions and use them as a tool instead of being used by them. This would allow you to think more clearly and make better choices that yield better outcomes.
Imagine how powerful you would feel as you become self mastered. No external circumstances would be able to bother you no matter how negative they are. You’d be self governed without the need to chase desires that end up leaving you discontent and unfulfilled.
Imagine you get to this point and you find another that has also done the work and has a positive self image, selfless, and content. Someone that would be happy just making you happy as you would feel towards them.
With being being your authentic selves there would be reason to lie, manipulate, or judge. The relationship would be based in selflessness. Honestly, collaboration, growth, and the level of love that would be experienced would dwarf any concept of love previously understood, true love. I cannot describe this as anything other than the blissful connection between two souls. Feeling as if you have found a missing part of yourself making you feel whole, and wanting nothing more than to make the other happy. A true partnership without compromise or sacrifice.
Since both individuals would be on the path towards personal growth they would be able to walk the path together and mutually benefit, and perhaps even unlock many spiritual gifts within each other.
This would be the next level of relationships and love. Let’s aspire to make this the new standard in personal relationships.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.