Taking control of your life doesn’t mean you control everything that happens. It means confidently moving forward with your own goals and priorities, while embracing change as an inevitable part of life. But how do you get that feeling of confidence and control, when it seems like nothing is going right?

Losing control of your life is never a good thing.

For that reason, when you finally regain the command back, it’s that much sweeter.

Taking control of your life involves behavioral changes and choices that empower you to shape your own path.

But what if you don’t feel you have the control?

What signs or behaviors can you recognize to see that you are, in fact, starting to take control of it?

Here are some important behaviours that indicate this.

1) Being self-reliant

Arguably the most important behaviour you can exhibit that shows you’re taking control of your life is you’re starting to rely more on yourself for your needs and finding confidence in your ability to handle situations.

This is especially important if you’ve lived with someone else for a long time, like your parents, girlfriend/wife, or you battled addiction.

Taking care of everything by yourself shows you have this critical ability and don’t have to depend on others anymore.

Younger people and those going through a divorce or a bad breakup will relate to this more than anyone else.

2) Taking responsibility

Many people that are faced with dire straits love to put the blame on others and shift the responsibility onto anyone but themselves.

This makes it much easier for them to live with themselves.

Taking or accepting responsibility for your actions means you aren’t blaming others for your mistakes or circumstances but are, instead, accepting responsibility for your actions and decisions.

Realizing that you’re the only one with the power to shape your destiny shifts the power balance back into your hands.

This goes hand-in-hand perfectly with the following behaviour.

3) Taking initiative

For the first half of my life, I was extremely inert. I waited for things to fall into my lap so I wouldn’t have to go out and get them myself.

Of course, hardly a thing fell into my lap, and I didn’t have any control of my life because of my passivity.

It was only after I stopped waiting for things to happen or for others to take charge that I stepped up and did what needed to be done.

This completely changed my life, and I got the wife of my dreams and the life I always wanted for myself.

Sometimes, you need to hit rock bottom to get up off the couch and start doing things. The sooner, the better.

4) Setting clear goals

But taking initiative without setting clear goals means almost nothing.

You could be the most productive person in the world, but if you haven’t set specific, achievable goals for different areas of your life, such as career, relationships, health, or personal development, you’ll be spinning your wheels needlessly.

I suggest you decide what you want to achieve and create a plan for how to get there.

After all, a good plan is half the battle won.

5) Managing time effectively

Overcoming procrastination and managing time effectively work wonders when you set goals for different areas of your life.

Wasting time in front of the TV or social media isn’t making anyone any favours.

But if you’re already making use of your time wisely, organizing your schedule to maximize productivity, and ensuring your needs are met, it seems you’re starting to take control of your life.

You’ll need to ensure you’re also doing this next thing.

6) Taking ownership of your finances

This is a big one!

If you don’t have your finances under control and you’re spending money frivolously without saving for the more important things in life, you’ll never have what it takes to be an adult.

Once you start to take control of your money, including saving, investing, and budgeting, it’s safe to say you’re taking command of your life again.

Making sound financial decisions is something that many people struggle with, even the ones that look like they have their lives under control but are a paycheck away from homelessness.

7) Developing healthy habits

Another important sign of having control over your life is the development of healthy habits.

This could mean a wide range of things, including eating healthier, exercising regularly, getting adequate sleep, and listening to your mental health needs.

Bad habits lead to bad health and even worse energy.

By taking care of yourself, you’re in the driver’s seat, steering to old age with good health and an even better attitude toward life.

8) Expressing gratitude

Another thing that gives us a better attitude and helps us maintain a positive perspective is recognizing and appreciating the good in our lives.

You can write down your appreciation every morning for a few minutes or simply reflect on what you have and where you’re heading.

When you embrace gratitude, you take control of your mindset and emotions. You no longer let negativity or discontent dictate your outlook on life.

9) Learning to say no

I always thought that saying yes to new experiences is an important part of living life to the fullest.

I also think that saying no to many things, especially people, is also an essential skill that you need to learn.

Setting up boundaries in our personal and professional life means we have to decline opportunities or requests that don’t align with our goals or values.

As much as it might be difficult at times, it’s for our own good.

Just make sure you also learn how to do this next thing.

10) Embracing change

If you just started taking control of your life, that means you’ve probably gone through major changes in your life recently.

Embracing these changes as an inevitable part of life is also a sign you’re now taking command of your life.

I know firsthand how hard it can be to go through different phases of your life. The uncertainty of it all makes it even more challenging.

But once I embraced these transformations and started thinking of them as new beginnings, life was suddenly more exciting and less daunting.

11) Letting go

To go forward, we often need to let go of the past first. Thinking about it in the wrong way just brings our minds back into that position we were once in, over and over again.

If we don’t let go of grudges and resentment, it can hold us back and create negative emotions.

Forgiveness isn’t about condoning or forgetting the wrong that was done to you. It’s about consciously unleashing resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you.

It’s more about your personal healing than about the other person.

But just as you need to forgive others, it’s also important to forgive yourself.

12) Making informed decisions

The truth is, most people simply coast through life. They don’t think about their future and don’t take any meaningful steps toward it.

They just live their lives day by day.

Although there is some merit in living a life like that, I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone.

You have to think long and hard if a life like that is for you, with all its pros and cons.

On the other side, gathering information, weighing options, and making decisions based on careful consideration rather than impulsive reactions means you’re starting to take control of your life.

You’re also less likely to just float through life.

13) Taking calculated risks

The total opposite of coasting through life is taking risks. Stepping out of your comfort zone and taking calculated risks in order to pursue your goals and aspirations in life takes guts.

It involves carefully evaluating potential outcomes, weighing the potential rewards against the probable losses, and making informed decisions to pursue your goals.

Just thinking about looking for a new job or making a career change, for example, makes most people anxious and sweaty.

Stepping into the unknown with a purpose and in order to propel your life forward is a clear sign you’re in the driver’s seat now.

14) Seeking and accepting help

The last behaviour that signals you’re in control is that you’ve taken steps to foster relationships with people who inspire and support you and distanced yourself from those who bring negativity into your life.

Seeking help is something many people don’t end up doing. They think they’re strong and clever enough to bring their life back on track, but that’s often not how it works out for them.

If you recognize the need to reach out to professionals or trusted individuals to help you get back on your path, all I can say is good for you.

It was the mature thing to do.


Hopefully, your journey of taking control of your life will continue to go in the right direction.

There are still many things you need to learn and master, like the art of self-discipline, how to let go of what you can’t control, and how happy people see the world differently.

Contact us now and take control of your life with Hypnotherapy.